Sexism In the Reformed Community

Sexism, that word has almost lost its meaning with the rise of third-wave feminism. However, this in no way suggests that it doesn’t exist. I don’t identify as a feminist, however they do have a point that sexism is a problem in 21st-century society. This issue isn’t contained to one particular group, I’m only focusing on the Reformed community because it’s the community I’m a part of and heavily identify with.

I will stay clear from generalizations because I don’t want the first thing someone to say is “Well, I don’t do that.” This isn’t meant to apply to every single person, though there is an application that I think everyone should think about.

When I go through Facebook and see phrases like “I allow my wife” or even “I allow my husband” said in complete seriousness, I wonder where we are in terms of gender equality in Christianity. A common emotional tactic is to treat your spouse like a child and you as a parent and I think this type of language personifies that.

I’m tired of seeing women being shut down by men on theology forums with an out-of-context citation of Paul that would have made the apostle build you a tent so you had somewhere to go when your wife kicks you out of the house for the night.

I’m not interested in naming names, but there are even instances that are even more blatant than what I described. Like the time a popular reformed figure told my female friend to go make a sandwich when he was called out for dishonesty.

Like Adam we men are playing the blame game on women for our own insecurities. Sliding into your sister in Christ’s DM’s like an unbeliever asking for nudes or to go on a road trip when they don’t even know you, what are you thinking?

This is more than just lust, this is degrading. Please don’t misunderstand me, I do not tell you this propped up on my high horse, I’ve made my fair share sinful mistakes, I’ve mistreated people in my life. But the problem I seem to be having is people who don’t even acknowledge what they’re doing is wrong. They don’t seek solutions, they aren’t trying to be better, they’re content in their emotional abuse.

That girl on the internet who you think is cute is not responsible to please you. Messaging women telling them they’re vain because they get a lot of likes on their selfies are ridiculous. Facebook stalking a woman and then complaining about some aspect of a photo she posted years ago is creepy.

Sexism is alive and well, it needs to be addressed in our community. I understand that third wave feminism has trivialized such a term, but I do not use this term lightly.

I’m not even talking about doctrines like Male only pastors. I’m talking more about the idea to expand this principle to where women are to be pretty things to look at but not heard. If you think this is ridiculous that’s because it is, I can only hope and pray that the behavior of the internet of some reformed folk is different than the behavior they treat women in their life.

The doctrines of grace do not support this type of behavior, more importantly, the Bible doesn’t support this behavior. Let’s encourage each other in the Lord and seek his wisdom and guidance in changing our hearts to really love our sisters in Christ without wanting their bodies or any other subtle motive you may be trying to get across. Platonic relationships are possible, not every single woman you meet is your potential wife. Let women speak too.

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